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Living with Schizoaffective Disorder

Please to Forgive

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Giving the Finger to Vladimir Putin:
Child Pornography on the Internet

"The darkest parts of Hell are reserved for
those who preserved their neutrality
during times of moral crisis."
- Durante degli Alighieri - "Dante"

Jonathan Swift

Monday, July 6, 2015

Do you take pride in your work?

I do; quite commonly my clients hate me for it. If you ask me for what you want, I will give you what you need.

Is There a Cause for Which You Would Give Your Life?

I'm working on that.

It is said that "Courage is not the absence of fear; courage is to act despite the presence of fear". I was once that way but now I am not courageous, but fearless. This leads me to do things that others regard as... not so much ill-advised, but damnfool ignorant if not actually batshit insane.

The man who molested me when I was a little boy collected child pornography.

In my plain sight he molested two others.

The only child pornography that he created - that I am aware of - I posed for. To the very best of my knowledge he did not sell it; many child pornographers give it away freely.

I am not real sure I will ever figure out how many psychiatric hospitals I have been in. If I tried I could count my suicide attempts but I would have to puzzle over them for a little while.

I hold the vast majority of law enforcement officers in the highest esteem. They work hard to do right by us all; more than once a cop or a deputy has saved my life.

But based on actual results I have come to regard some law enforcement officers, as well as at least some of the national intelligence agents, not just of the US but most countries, as total slackers.


Were that not the case, the Microsoft Bing Image Search cache would not be so chock full of kiddieporn. That so many sexually explicit photographs of children are hosted on Microsoft's own serves is evidence by the availability of the images on Bing despite that their original servers are long-gone.

Quite clearly someone is taking out the child pornography servers. I remain puzzled that the kiddieporn is still available from Microsoft. It could not possibly be that Microsoft doesn't know about it, as the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children, the International Telecommunication Union's Child Online Protection initiative, INTERPOL and the like notify Microsoft's friendly competitors when abusive imagery is hosted by such sites as Google's Blogspot

Quite commonly images served by Bing come from Blogspot, but Bing continues to display the image in search results after Google removes them.

Just Doing My Job


If we stopped beating our children there would be no wars anymore.
-- Gloria Steinem

I am often asked why I do this. Surely it should be left to authorized law enforcement officers?

While many work diligently to solve the problems of the various Deadly Sins, based on actual results I regard their work as having limited effectiveness. There are many reasons, some that I will document later, others that are - as yet - my own speculation.

In 1979, when I was in the Youth Conservation Corps an electrical fault set fire to our dormitory's payphone. That being our only phone I figured everyone would exit the building. Instead everyone including the adult staff sat quietly as the flames grew. Our only exit was through the flames.

I grabbed a paper bag out of a trash can, covered my hand with it then slapped my palm over the melted burning plastic, cutting off it's air supply.

Everyone else called me a hero. I pointed out that I was taught how to put out fires when I was a Boy Scout.

It is quite common that a Boy Scout gives his lfe to save that of another.

Code Words


Most of the search engines yield no hits for obvious keywords such as "children fucking". Instead one must supply one of many "code words". For example the adult erotic model Christina Lucci commenced her nude still photography career at the age of 14 or so; at the time she was known as "Christina Model". There are many such "models"; Cindy Crawford and Giselle Bündchen use their real names but little girls and young teens use such names as "Lia model" and "Sandra model".

One way to find many of the girls would be to exhaustively search a girl's naming dictionary, appending "model" to each name:

The males are commonly referred to as "Bibcam Boys".

Some "magazines" come in "issues" containing a few dozen "sets". Image hosts such as imgchili commonly contain one set per page. With some effort one can download a complete issue from a filesharing host such as RapidShare or DepositFiles. The filesharing hosts are not commonly found in the leading search engines but are indexed by such specialty search engines as MediaFireTrend. One can find the "complete sets" with such queries as:

The age of the child is not generally obfuscated: "13yo girl", "12 yo boy", "preteen", "prepubescent", "junior high", "high school", "young", "lolita" - this last the title character in the book of the same name by Vladimir Nabokov in which an adult man falls in love with a prepubescent girl.

As many models and actresses are Slavic one can also search for:

While child pornography is illegal in Russia, given that at least one orphanage operates as a motion picture studio whose complete filmography is available for just $1.00, clearly the laws of the Russian Federation are not enforced.

Some of the server domain names include the word "Caribbean", for example "www.pusserscaribbeangrill.com" - a long-dead CP site. I expect this is a reference to the photographic work of David Hamilton, who dedicated his career to otherwise tasteful photographs of nude junior high school girls in St. Tropez. One might reasonably expect this genre's print media to be of poor quality, but the volume of Hamilton's photograph's that my abuser owned was of very high production quality.

I will discuss later whether David Hamilton's work is art or pornography in a later draft, but I will say that I am heavily into photography myself, I am quite good at it - and I shoot more than one kind of subject. I like to go camping in the desert, I practice industrial photography, night shots and so on.


The URLs of videos, sets and issues may be found at a "BBS". Back in the day - possibly to this day - BBS software typically ran on personal computers that one could access via dialup modem. The modern usage of BBS denotes vBulletin or phpNuke forums - message boards chat boards or online communities. Some of them are dedicated to pedophilia but many are otherwise dead sites that are still in operation. A straightforward way to find them would be to use a web robot - also known as a "crawler", "web wanderer" or "bot" - to find forum threads that go one for hundreds of pages.

Videos, sets and issues are most frequently packaged in RAR files which are often but not always encrypted. Recent revisions of the rar archive format use the Advanced Encryption Standard (AES) to encrypt the entire file. Older ones encrypt the individual files separately with the same password. While one might not be able to decrypt the file one can list the filenames. Similarly for the less frequently used Zip archive format - even when encrypted, without knowing the password one can obtain the names of the individual files and folders.

It is plainly apparent that compressed archive encryption serves only to hide the felonious nature of the contents from the casual observer. Some - but not all - of the filesharing services remove child abuse videos and images when pointed out to them. Password-protection could be effection but in actual practice is not. Many archives are encrypted with passwords that are easy to brute force, easy to guess or that are commonly used:

For the most part the URLs are not W3C hyperlinks nor IETF RFC-standard domain names:

www imgchili net

One must convert them into W3C-Standard Uniform Resource Locators then enter them into one's web browsers address bar. Often "Link Protection" services are employed; most popular is Lix.in. (This is not to be confused with the link protection used to provide fault tolerance through redundant paths in communications networks.) In part link protection is employed to hide the BBS from prying eyes and in part to, uh, "earn" money: Lix.in pays its customers each time a protection link is followed. Popular protected links may well be quite lucrative.



The following is reposted from the Kuro5hin Diary Section, where my dear friends are helping me compose this essay. These cover most of my concerns, however I will revise this very rough draft to create a coherent whole over the next few days.

This One is Rather More Serious

One idea I had was to write a letter to all fifty Attorneys General. Another was to write to child protective services wherever I figure the services might be. Another was to write all the canadian solicitors general so they could banninate internet from the united states.

Another idea I had was to tait until just before black friday then crash the stock market by report Bing Image Search to every Child Protective Service in the English-speaking world, as well as all the financial analysists, Venture Capitalists and all the Microsoft employees whose email addresses I could dig up.

Another idea I had was to request an audience with the pope - I know the procedure for that - then request His Holiness point out the problem.

In the end I decided to do what I do best: write a Wall of Text then whore its link all over creation.

Bing Image Search's cache is chock full of child pornography. That cache does not expire when the original servers go away.

The required search terms are easily found in Wikipedia. Whenever the admins delete them, the Russian Mob puts them back in:

" undo censorship":

NameFile PrefixSets Information
LS-Magazine see below 16 issues
1 Sweet Things lsm- 8 + videos
2 Enjoy the Show lsm- 8 + videos
3 Two Sisters lsm- 8 + videos
4 Young & Fresh lsm- 8 + videos
5 Supple Babies lsm- 8 + videos
6 Another Games lsm- 8 + videos
7 Happy Holidays lsm- 8 + videos
8 Happy Birthday lsm- 8 + videos
9 Real Professionals lsm- 8 + videos
10 Fashionable Lolitas lsm- 8 + videos
11 Confidental lsm- 8 + videos
12 Lively Pers' lsm- 8 + videos
13 Tough Stuff lsm- 8 + videos
14 Everything About Me lsm- 8 + videos
15 Spoilt Babies lsm- 8 + videos
16 Trinity lsm- 8 + videos
LS-Land see below 32 issues
1 Perfects lsp- (also issue 6) 30
2 Assorties las- 30
3 Merry Christmas lmc- 28 + videos
4 Fairyland t- 30
5 Meadow lso- 30
6 Little Pirates lsp- (also issue 1) 30
7 Cowboys lco- 30
8 Hots lsn- (also issue 19) 30
9 Cards Castle lsd- 30
10 Waterfall la2- 30
11 Variety lsh- (also issue 21) 30
12 Siren Drive Siren- 30
13 Valentines lsv- (also issue 22) 30
14 Fairywood lsw- 30
15 Little Duchess Duch- 30
16 Daisies daisy- 30
17 Forbidden Fruit fruit- 30 + videos
18 Alien Stars ufo- 30
19 911 lsn- (also issue 8) 30
20 Batman's Babies lsb- 30
21 Stunning Dolls lsh- (also issue 11) 30
22 Oriental Nights lsv- (also issue 13) 30
23 Old Story lod- 80 from older sites
24 Future School lfs- 30
25 Retro Ladies lsr- 30
26 Hawaiian Breeze lhv- 30
27 Showgirls show- 30
28 Fairy Garden lkd- 30
29 Summer Time lh2- 30
30 Light Boxing llb- 30
31 Builders lbs- 22 + videos
32 Thumbelina ldm- 30
LS-Island see below 3 issues
1 My Childhood isl- 30
2 In The Middle isa- 30
3 Midsummer ism- 30
LS-Fantasy lsfan-
LS-Lolita lsan- (also LS-Extension)
LS-Barbie lsbar-
LS-Extension lsan- (also LS-Lolita)
LS-Girls lsg-
LS-Flash ls-fla-
LS-Stars ls-star-
Touch It touch-
Little Guests gu-
Shining Pretties ps-
Pretty Animals pret-
Fallen Girls fa- fallg-
Little Virgins lv- littlv-
Little Pearls lpear-
Natural Angels na-
Crazy Angels cr-
Magic Nymphets ma- ml- originally Magic Lolita
Charming Angels ca- hl- originally Home Lolita
Lovely Nymphets ln- un- originally Ukrainian Nymphets
Gentle Angels ga- ua- originally Ukrainian Angels
LS-Dreams see below 5 issues, video content
1 Short Skirts lsd-
2 First Try lsd-
3 Home Alone lsd-
4 Pandora's Box lsd-
5 Sweethearts lsd-
LS-Show originally LS-Video, video content
Video Nymphets video content
Video-2000 video content

Most of the domains are under United States control - .net and .com and of all the batshit crazy things .us.

Either Microsoft us staffed by pedophiles, bing is a giant honeypot or the legal authorities are pedophiles themselves.

Some of my Facebook friends are cops, I also have the email addresses if some that I have, uh, "worked" with. I'm going to send the link to all of them.

The Mob's IT Department

Bing Image Search.

The ITU's Child Online Protection initiative notifies Google of child pornography links. Google prmptly removes them from its index.

I expect Microsoft is so notified as well but Satya Nadella doesnt remove the links nor cached images, despite the original servers having been dead for years.

I am convinced that kim dotcom's bust gad nothing to do with copyright but that much of the, uh, "digital media" was distributed from his servers; however most is encrypted, but typically with very obvious or easily brute forced passwords like "nzz".

More or less you start with bing then pay for a premier account with a filesharing service.

There is also "link protection" mostly our of India, which hides the referring page. One can earn decent coin by promoting a popular protected link.

Most of those links are found on what should be dead forums but whose servers are still operating.

An easy way to rain on the mob's parade would be to scout around for threads that go on for hundreds of pages.

Someone has to Accept the Responsibility to Solve the Problem

You must not know much about me; it has been my nature to solve such problems for my entire life. That others don't regard doing so as my responsibility does not factor into it.

I am not the only one like this. Consider the medal of honor recipients who pick up live hand grenades then throw them back at the enemy. Sometimes they survive. When Commander-in-Chief Obama thanked one for his service to our country he replied:

"Just doing my job."

That's very commonly said by law enforcement officers as well.

I'm just doing my job see, not because it is assigned to me but because I saw the job needed to be done so I am doing it.

But some of the police aren't doing their job.

When I discussed this with that deputy I asked if he knew what a "Free Agent" was.


"Bruce Wayne was a fictional Free Agent. He became Batman because he saw his parents murdered."

"Yes I know."

"I'd like to confess to a whole bunch of felonies."


I explained what I was doing, he told me to keep up the good work then drove away in his patrol car.

Bing Image Search Caches Dead Servers

Even when those servers have been dead for years.

The quantity of images, as well as the ease of finding it is increasing dramatically over the last few months.

At one time it was quite difficult to come up with queries that yielded the desired response. Even when I could find one, there were very few hits.

Now it is easy to find such queries and they produce far, far more hits than just a few months ago.

The National Center for Missing and Exploited Children as well at the International Telecommunication Union's Child Online Protection initiative advises Google of offending URLs. While there is some to be found at Google there is not much as Google is quite prompt about removing it from their index.

That is not the case with Bing; I do not know why however I speculate that it is an inside job, in that there are some Microsoft employees who are in the pay of the Russian Mob.

Most but not all of the material is Russian or Ukrainian. Most of the consumers are Americans and Japanese.

At one time child pornography was completely legal in Japan however with the World Wide Web it was outlawed, but only so Americans would stop complaining. The material is still readily available in Japan however they use technical measures to limit its distribution to Japanese people.

The stuff I find most disturbing of all is Japanese animation. I don't know but speculate that it is the result of widespread famine after World War II. While we sent aid to Germany and Austria, we did not lift a finger to save the Japanese for quite a long time.

This leads me to believe that modern Japanese animation is a rape fantasy reenactment of the widespread prostitution that must have occurred during that famine, practiced by children in hopes of getting something to eat.

Also Suggested Searches

Search for fruit and Bing suggests apple, pear, banana.

Search for apple and it suggests Original Sin.

Search for Original Sin and you find child sexual exploitation.

That's a conceptual paraphrase, but it really does work like that in that innocuous searches are directed by bing to the cpr0n. I expect that's the result of simplistic machine learning, in that the consumers are teaching bing what to suggests.

Try pornographic searches at Google and you get no suggestions at all.

That is if you search for "Michael" Google suggests "Michael Jackson". But if you search for "Bree" it will suggest some other well-known Brees but when you get to "Bree O" the suggestions drop-down closes.


that's where Billy serves up his pr0n from.

I'm down with Redmond paying for its roads with my nightly self-entertainment however, while not dead certain, I speculate that someone within Microsoft is hiding the kiddieporn from the other microsoft employees.

There are some organizations that assist Google in deleting theirs - the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children, there are some others.

While most kiddieporn comes from Russia, at least Yandex does not permit searches from tor exit nodes. From time to time the laws in Eastern Europe are enforced, in the sense that the best-known studio was busted, but then not one single parent was willing to press charges.

I remain puzzled that the parents even had standing to press charges; that would not be the case in the US, there would be indictments despite what the parents had to say. But that was the law, at least in the time, in Ukraine.

If you search google for the obvious search terms, you find all manner of news articles about arrests, about the laws, about all the work that Russia does to think of the children.

But if you can figure out the search terms that are actually used in practice you find sites like "We have our own orphanage!" which features a fifteen year old boy and a fourteen year old girl, beaming proudly because they are the parents of a little toddler, conceived during filming of hardcore child porn.

Doubtlessly that toddler has already followed in the footsteps of his parents.

The orphanages complete filmography could be had for a one-time fee of $1.00 charged to a real debit or credit card - with your real name, street address and so on.

My intention was to do just that, download the lot of it then snail mail it all to the Soviet Embassy just before boarding a plane to Nepal, but the site disappeared shortly after I published HOWTO Launder Money on the Internet.

I am pleased to report that that is one of my more-popular articles.

Especially egregious is IMGSRC.RU:

iMGSRC.RU (short for image source) is a rapidly growing community, dedicated to sharing. Photo sharing. Beauty Sharing. We've recently reached population of 738,000 USERS with total of 44,000,000 PHOTOS uploaded.

The kiddieporn is obfuscated but easily found: search Bing for it; Google doesn't index IMGRSRC.RU. That the proprietors know what their site is really use for is evidenced by their own search form not finding any of their own child pornography archives.

One particularly attractive adult model is "available in Moscow in exchange for girls".

Most but not all of IMGSRC's child exploitation photography is password-protected. "Non-Nude" or "NN" photos are legal in some jurisdictions that permit adult pr0n, but the Non-Nude Galleries serve as introductions to collection of password-protected photos and videos. Sometime one is asked to pay money, but more commonly they can be had through trades.

hello I would like to exchange pictures and vids of girls ages 8 to15 years. if anyone is interested man or woman better yet please send me an e-greetings and thanks- I'm looking for a girl who is daring to exchange pics in chat cam???

The Rich Are Different From You And Me


Hey bro - what kinda pills you like?

Sorry, no, I'm not into that.

... then:

When was the last time you had something to eat?

It's been a few days.

I'll buy you some pizza.

... after observing the effusively friendly cheerful way he greeted everyone we passed...

You don't need to do this you know. You should be a car dealer.

Do you have any people anywhere who can help you out?


You can get to Seattle on Amtrack for fifty bucks.

I meant to buy him a ticket the next day but I never saw him again.

Crime does not pay. Or rather, it doesn't pay well unless you're the boss. It's often like that for me as a consulting software engineer, it's like that for today's "sharing economy" workers.

I expect many ply this trade because they don't know any other way to put bread on their tables, but there are far, far better ways to make money working at home.

Why Am I Saying All This?


Sergeant Alecsander Pietrczak, the father of my dear friend and professional colleague Stefan Pietrzcak Youngs, was a fighter pilot in the Polish Air Force during World War II. Many of the Polish pilots retreated to Britain after the Soviets and NAZIs overran their homeland. Having lost their country and so feeling they had nothing left to lose, they led the Royal Air Force pilots to regard them as all insane because waited until they were really close before firing to be assured of a kill, and so often returned to base with German blood on their canopies.

Sergeant Pietrzcak learned the hard way that that does not always work when he dived on a V-1 Buzz Bomb then detonated its warhead. Not to be deterred he bailed out safely then went back for four more.

Niether Stefan nor his brother Kelvin ever knew their father as he perished in a peacetime training accident shortly after the war ended, leaving their seventeen year-old Irish mother to raise them alone. Stefan was only three months old.

It is very difficult for me to write this not because the topic is so painful but because I feel so poorly. After many years of contemplation, I choose to write this essay now, and to write it the way I am writing it, because I too feel I have nothing left to lose. I grow increasingly concerned that I will soon face an unpleasant fate, but there is nothing that the future holds that could possibly be as bad as what I have already survived.

I suppose this is a good place to clue you all in to the fact that my real name is Michael David Crawford.

I use Jonathan Swift as a pseudonym not because he wrote the well-known book Gulliver's Travels but because he wrote the more historically important pamphlet A Modest Proposal.

A Modest Proposal suggested that the problem of Irish poverty could be solved by slaughtering Irish infants that their meat may be served on the dinner tables of wealthy Britons. For his contribution to the social discourse of the day, Swift got a price put on his head by the British Crown.

Perhaps if I work very, very hard to perfect my craft as a writer, I too might get a price put on my own head.

One Can Only Hope.

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