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Living with Schizoaffective Disorder

I am Dead Certain This is
Caused by Temporal Lobe Epilepsy

Temporal Lobe Epilepsy can cause Aphasia,
which I had not been aware of before a few days ago.

If I really do have TLE, it will show right up in the Electroencephalograph Test I had just now. I've had EEGs five times before; this particular test was more thorough, took longer and had lots more electrodes. I received such stimuli as a strobe light through my closed eyelids, breathing heavily - not so much hyperventilating as hypoxia - and even feel asleep during the test.

My Neurologist Dr. Anne Hamburg of PeaceHealth in Vancouver, Washington will call in a few days with her interpretation.

My only real concern as I write this is whether TLE really does explain all my symptoms. I feel it does not, as really loud Tinnitus - ringing in my ears - and numbness in my feet and hands are not even remotely TLE symptoms but are symptoms of Vitamin B12 Anemia.

I don't need new medicine for seizures as the Trileptal (oxcarbazepine) I'm presently taking is completely effective at preventing them. I do hope there is some treatment for my Broca's Aphasia.

I spoke with an on-call physician when my Neurologist's office was closed. He told me that the symptoms of Vitamin B12 Anemia would persist until I got the B12 injections.

While profoundly frightening and debilitating, my Aphasia, the numbness in my lips, feet and hands and the like are all transitory.

In particular, I have all five of the hallmark traits of Geschwind Syndrome:

Hypergraphia

My as-if-possessed-by-demons compulsive writing commenced in the Spring of 1984, just when the onset of my Schizoaffective Disorder occurred as well. I am no longer able to write to specific topics nor to specific deadlines, both of which I was quite good at while in high school.

Hyperreligiosity

I really do receive Heaven-sent visions from time to time; I once ascended to Heaven to ask God a question - and he answered it, however his answer was quite complex and lengthy, so I am unable to write it down myself.

When unable to make sense to each other just by talking:

"Why are you here?" - in a psychiatric hospital.

"I have gone Through The Looking Glass."

"I don't understand."

"We are on a chess board. You are on the white squares; I am on a black square.

"In my understanding, in more traditional cultures, the Schizoaffectives are the Shamans."

Quite suddenly and completely out of nowhere my entire life made sense. After that I made complete sense to everyone else and they made complete to me.

Atypical Sexuality

I am openly Bisexual and quite the uninhibited adventurer. I'm also a regular at Portland's Oregon Theater - in reality a Swing Club. :-0

Circumstantiality

I am wont to talk at great length while wandering from topic to topic apparently at random with no connection between any of the topics. In my own internal experience, I always make logical sense to myself but incorrectly assume my listener or reader is following that logic.

Intensified Mental Life

From time to time I experience Dissociative Trances, in which in my own experience I'm just idly mulling over something while at the same time leading others to conclude that I'm stone deaf and blind.

I have no problem at all going for weeks at a time without talking to a human soul when I get interested in some manner of intellectual pursuit.

Even when I lift weights, for me it is an intentionally solitary activity. I never even use spotters. To bench press free weights is often deadly, so I do use a weight machine for that but otherwise I lift only free weights. I also like to go out on my own to ride fifty miles on my bike just to pass the time.

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