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Living with Schizoaffective Disorder

HOWTO Escape Madness:
Work Within the Rules

In many ways, Dissociation is the very worst form of Madness.

Michael David Crawford, Baritone,

Friday, December 14th, 2018

do you ever think all these things are real or are they some function of your disorder? Bonita, oggfrog, etc?

I'm not giving you a raft of shit, I am genuinely curious?

Actually I do. That was at one time quite a serious problem for me.

Are you familiar with a philosophy called Solipsism?

I was at once convinced that I was the only person in the entire Universe, with you, K5 and even Jason being just hallucinations.

Just once - Thank Our Almighty G-d - I knew I was in a hallucination, however I did not know how to escape it.

It was quite frightening: I got attacked by an inflatable clown.

Punching it was of no use, as its bottom was round and weighted with sand.

But I eventually clued into stopping my own hallucination just the same way I can make Schizophrenics stop just by talking to them.

A Psych Nurse watched my first time at actually doing so. I quietly asked if she'd seen me do it - "Yes" - then asked her why it worked:

You entered his reality. If you can figure out the rules that apply there, you can bring him some relief.

A deeply faithful man was being tormented by the Devil. Bernard just asked me to say a blessing over him.

So escaped my world of Madness by working within the rules of my own fevered imagination.

The next time the inflatable clown hurled itself at me, I shouted:


Then the clown disappeared, to be replaced by a couple Ninjas. Again when they attacked me, I threw a punch at one while shouting "STOP!" again.

There were a couple more attacks I stopped the same way.

Slowly at first, but faster and faster my fever-dream faded away, to be replaced by my room in Mom's condo.

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