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Living with Schizoaffective Disorder

What is Your Life's Purpose?

My much-older and far-wiser mentor Stefan Pietrzak Youngs quite sensibly advised:

My wish is that you focus on being productive, rewarding yourself occasionally with a spot of creative writing.

To which I replied:

That I regard my only hope of feeding, housing and clothing myself as a mere day job that I'd love nothing more than to drop like a hot rock is doubtlessly the explanation as to why I commenced my very first iOS app nine years ago and work on it steadily yet with little hope of it ever finding a happier home in the App Store.

No one will ever run any of my code after I'm gone.

A while back a chest X-Ray for a bad cough turned up a "mass" in my right lung. When I told my favorite barista, Katy said she would go with me to my chemotherapy appointments. I told her that I was puzzled as to why I found myself strangely unconcerned that I might die.

It wasn't just numb shock. Really I didn't care if I just dropped dead.

After quite a lot of contemplation I realized that had my Tick just expired, I would die happy because I had already completed what I regard as my life's work. As Kuro5hin's Roger Williams pointed out:

Actually, he is trying to teach us something.

He has been very clear about this at times. Mike has had an extraordinary life -- call it extraordinarily fucked up if you want, but he has gone through a lot, and much of what he writes is directed at letting other people have the benefit of his experience. This was the point of what I still consider one of the finest pieces ever to appear on K5, Living with Schizoaffective Disorder.

That so very many of my life's lessons have been so very painful to learn is why I wrote that "Among my most deeply help moral principles is that noone should have to pay money to benefit from any of my own hard-won insights".

After some careful thought as to how my writing could still be widely read a thousand years hence, I mailed my whole family to tell them that the only thing I asked of them were I to die or to become incapacitated was that I wanted them to ensure my writing stayed online - forever.

That's why I renewed soggywizards.com for nine years, and shall soon do the same for all my domains.

But the Internet is fragile; it would not survive a nuclear war nor an asteroid strike. That's why I will soon self-publish some print editions of my collected essays as well as limited runs of each title on acid-free hemp paper.

That the Declaration Of Independence and the US Constitution were written on hemp is the reason they haven't faded nor become brittle in any way in over two hundred years.

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