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Living with Schizoaffective Disorder

Warning: TRIGGER!
Of Bird's Nests, Oldtown
and Anthony Perez

There But For The Grace Of God Go I.

Michael David Crawford, Baritone,
mdcrawford@gmail.com

Thursday, December 3, 2018

This "nest" was in a flophouse sink; note the three pigeon eggs in it:

This article by Darcy Matheson of CTV News Vancouver is about a small neighborhood in Vancouver, British Columbia. I've lived in both Vancouvers; the Canadian one from late Summer 2006 through July 2007.

Pigeon's Nest Constructed Of Dirty Needles

Pigeon's Nest Constructed Of Dirty Needles
Photo: Vancouver BC Police

Its metropolitan area has about a half-million people, and is one of the very finest, most-vibrant and beautiful cities on the entire planet.

The photo was taken by a VPD Homeless Outreach Coordinator in the Downtown Eastside, which occupies eight or ten blocks of East Hastings between the downtown and Gastown, where I worked for Atimi Software. It was posted to Twitter by VPD Superintendant Michelle Davey to draw attention to the great suffering of the Downtown Eastside's people.

I visited the Downtown Eastside, once.

Once.

tl;dr: Living near and working right next to the Downtown Eastside really threw me for a loop. The last time I saw The Thought Police was in I think 2014, when was in the slammer and saw a patrol car with its lights flashing through the closed blinds of the window of an adjacent room.

I don't want to see The Thought Police.

You don't want me to see The Thought Police.

At my first session with Psychiatrist Justin Grey MD of South San Jose, California in January 2009, I explained The Thought Police to him, then pointed out that "While the medicine I take gives me a great deal of comfort, it does not make The Thought Police go away."

"They're behind the curtain," Dr. Grey insightfully suggested.

A study conducted a few years before I moved there found EIGHT THOUSAND USED NEEDLES littering the ground in just the Downtown Eastside.

I read just now in Canadian-American journalist Crawford Killian's blog that that there were two thousand overdose fatalities in Canada from January through June of this year, seventy percent from Fentanyl.

Fentanyl was developed for a truly humanitarian purpose: to treat the very worst pain of Terminal Cancer. I watched my Grandma Crawford die that way but with the small comfort lent by Medical Cocaine, as well as a close friend in Rockland, Maine.

My family history leads me to regard that as likely to happen to me someday. If I'm lucky, I'll just have a Heart Attack.

While not nearly so bad yet, both Portland, Oregon's OldTown and Vancouver, Washington's own Eastside are well on their way there:

Anthony Perez with friends in front of Seattl's Safeco Field

Anthony Perez Is One The Front Right
In The Superman T-Shirt

Tomorrow Could Have Been A Better Day

I ran into my beloved friend Anthony Richard Perez in downtown Portland one night. He said he had an errand to do then asked me to stick around. My beloved friend Anthony said he'd return in an hour.

I never saw my beloved friend Anthony ever again.

A few days later, the Portland Rescue Mission staff told me that Anthony Shot Up. A few hours up an old mug shot from his arrest for Heroin Possession a few years before.

Extensive searching through jail and prison rosters and mug shot websites didn't find him. I know I could ask the Multnomah County Coroner if Anthony ever turned up there but grew to realize that it was best I not do so.

I have some photos that Anthony downloaded from his iPhone onto my MacBook Pro. All those photos depict Anthony happy and smiling the way I always knew him to be, but far, far healthier and more muscular. In all those photos, my beloved friend Anthony was in the company of his own friends, and his family:

Who's that?

Oh, just a girl I met.

Does she have a sister?

I hope one day to pass his photos on to those friends and family.

The British Columbia Coroner's Service reported 120 overdose deaths in March 2017; the bird's nest article doesn't specifically say whether those were in the Downtown Eastside, Vancouver as a whole or in British Columbia.

While Heroin is quite difficult to synthesize in a Chemistry Lab, I don't really know but because it's so popular I expect Fentanyl must by contrast be easy to make.

Most Dope addicts shoot what they quite euphemistically refer to as "Black Tar Heroin". It really does look just like black liquid tar, but while it is a powerful Opioid it is notHeroin, not even remotely. A while back I got an up-close and personal view of a new friend and his friend shooting up with black tar, not dissolved but simply stirred into a discarded paper soda cup with some water from a garden hose.

My friend said "Be Careful!" to his friend, who replied:

Don't worry, I've only blown out one vein.

They shared - at great risk for HIV and Hepatitis - a cracked glass syringe my friend's friend had stolen. That guy then walked off, while my friend treated me to an entire night of screaming in agony and despair.

That my new friend - I sadly do not recall his name, I'm bad with names - quite likely chose to comfort himself with Heroin is quite likely the result of the profound torment he'd experienced for for all of his days.

I'd tell you why my friend was so tormented, but there are certain texts that once you have read, you cannot unread.

Overcome With Despair,

Michael

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