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Living with Schizoaffective Disorder

Last Will And Testament
of Michael David Crawford

While every deity hath the Insight to
fortell the Future, not even G-d Almighty Himself
possesseth the Power to undo the Past.

Michael David Crawford, Baritone,
mdcrawford@gmail.com

Tuesday, March 20, 2019
Vancouver, Washington

Copyright © Michael David Crawford. All Rights Reserved.

I, Michael David Crawford, a legal adult with an address at 3008 NE Stapleton Road, Vancouver, Washington 98611 in the United States of America, being of competent and sound mind, do hereby declare this to be my last will and testament (hereinafter, “Last Will & Testament”) and do hereby revoke any and all wills and codicils heretofore made jointly or severally by me. I further declare that this Last Will & Testament reflects my personal wishes without any undue influence whatsoever.

At the time of this Last Will & Testament, I am unmarried, but divorced from Frances Bonita Hatcher, last known with an address at 2697 Agricola Street, Halifax Nova Scotia B3K 4CY in Canada. To the best of my knowledge I have no children however am unsure. After payment of all of personal debts, expenses and liabilities, and the bequethment of my property as stipulated herein, any remaining property I give, devise and bequeath equally among each child who establishes my legal paternity of him or her.

I hereby nominate and appoint Lawrence Calvin Foster III, with an address at 308 Fore Street Portland, Maine 04101 in the United States Of America as Executor/Personal Representative of this Last Will & Testament.

In the event I am the sole parent or legal guardian of my non-adult children at the time of my death, then I hereby nominate and appoint Arabella Wallingford-Newman, a homeless individual with no fixed address, as legal guardian of my children. Should the aforementioned individual be unavailable, unable or unwilling to serve as legal guardian when needed, then I nominate and appoint Roderic Malcom Schmidt as the alternate legal guardian of my children.

After payment of all of personal debts, expenses and liabilities, I request and direct that my property be bequeathed as follows:

I give, devise and bequeath to Charles Albert Crawford our father's triangularly-folded American Flag, of his two Ceremonial Swords, the one I presently possess, the Carpenter's Hammer that our father taught me to drive nails with and our father’s University Of California Berkeley Undergraduate Chemistry Textbooks – one Experimental whose hard binding is in good condition, the other Theoretical whose hard binding is in tatters and so must be handled with great care.

I give, devise and bequeath to Bonnie Jean Crawford-Evans my collection of Fiction – Science Fiction as well as other genres of Fiction – Books and Magazines.

I give, devise and bequeath to Patricia Ann Crawford my polished but uncoated – and so but modestly reflective – Pyrex Glass 6 Inch Telescope Mirror.

I give, devise and bequeath to Charles Kelly Lundquist my polished by uncoated - and so but modestly reflective - Pyrex Glass 8 Inch Telescope Mirror.

I give, devise and bequeath to the Panthéon, with an address at Place du Panthéon, 75005 Paris, France my uncoated – and so but modestly reflective – 10 Inch Telescope Mirror and my crudely-constructed Jean Bernard Léon Foucault Knife-Edge Sphere Null Test Apparatus, commonly known as a “Foucault Tester” but to myself and my high school friends Charles Kelley “Chuck” Lunduist, Murray Vance “Reypulque” Perrine and Michael “Mike” Dengel as a “Fuck It Tester” due to its great difficulty of effective operation.

I give, devise and bequeath to Arabella Wallingford-Newman my Pentax K-1000 Single Lens Reflex Camera, its lenses: my Takumar 135 millimeter Lens, SMC Pentax-A 50 millimeter Lens and my Hoya 77 millimeter Wide-Angle Zoom Lens, my Lenses' Ultraviolet-Rejection or "Sky Light" Filters and Polaroid filters, as well as my Camera Bag.

I give, devise and bequeath to Beth-Ann Stempien my Camera Tripod with Quick-Release Clamped Aluminum Legs and my 2 Terabytes Western Digital WD Elements SE Universal Serial Bus Flash Mass Storage Device or “USB Flash Drive” and my Retina Display Mid 2015 MacBook Pro, Model Identifier MacBookPro11,5, erial Number C02RD28AG8WM.

I give, devise and bequeath to Marian Goodell my 35 millimeter Kodachrome Slides, but not the Copyrights to the Images captured thereupon.

I give, devise and bequeath jointly and equally to Patricia Ann Crawford and to Martha Jean Speelmon the Copyrights to the Images captured by my 35 millimeter Kodachrome Slides.

I give, devise and bequeath to Sarah Ann Brolly my Black And White Negative Films and their Positive Paper Prints.

I give, devise and bequeath to Frances Bonita Hatcher my 35 millimeter Negatives, their Positive Prints, the Kodak PhotoCDs bearing the scanned digital images from some of my 35 millimeter Kodachrome Slides, and my 6 Pound and 16 Pound Graphite and Glass Metal Casting Crucibles. (The weight in Pounds here indicates how much Molten Aluminum each Crucible can hold, not the weight of the Crucible itself.)

I give, devise and bequeath to the Paso Robles High School Industrial Arts Department with an address at 801 Niblick Road, Paso Robles, California 93446, my Blacksmith’s Anvil as well as each of my Hand and Power Tools for Carpentry, Automobile Maintenance and Repair as well as Automobile Body and Repair.

I give, devise and bequeath to Beth Hansen my Engineering Workstation or “Xeon Box”, assembled from such components including but not limited to its Black Cooler Master Server Case with ten 5 1/4 inch Half-Height Drive Bays, Dual CPU Supermicro Motherboard, Intel Core Quad Xeon e540 Microprocessor, 16 GigaBytes of Fully Buffered Dual In-Line Memory Modules or FB-DIMMs, four 1 Terabyte Western Digital RAID Edition Rotating Mass Storage Devices or “Hard Drives”, an Applied Micro Circuits Corporation 3ware Redundant Array of Independent Disks Host Bus Adapter or “Hardware RAID Controller”, an Advanced Micro Devices PCI-express Three-Dimensional Graphics Processing Unit Graphics Adapter or “AMD 3-D Video Card” and a PLEXTOR BD940SA Optical Disc Reader and Writer or “Blu-ray Burner”.

I give, devise and bequeath to Rukayat Oluwatosin Odukoya the World Wide Web site located at the Internet Hyper Text Transport Protocol Uniform Resource Indicator http://soggy.jobs, the Copyrights to, the full text of and all backups whether on-site or offsite of the Global Employer Index’ and Global Computer Industry Index World Wide Web (WWW) Hypertext Markup Language (HTML), Cascading Stylesheets (CSS), Python Script Source Code - “.py” File – and Javascript Source Code – “.js” Files. Rukayat, remain cognizant of the United States and Nigerian Copyright Laws with respect to databases, as well as that aspect of the Berne Copyright Convention. US Copyright Law regards a database as a “collection and assembling of preexisting materials or of data that are selected in such a way that the resulting work as a whole constitutes an original work of authorship”. (17. U.S.C. § 101)

I give, devise and bequeath equally to each of the following the Revenues that shall acrue to my Estate from my Inventions, Patents, Trademarks, Trade Secrets and those Copyrights which I have not given, devised, bequeathed nor assigned to one or more of my heirs:

I give, devise and bequeath to His Holiness the 14th Dalai Lama, Tenzin Gyatso the Title and Ownership of the Internet Domain Names “soggy.jobs”, “uae.org.in”, “hydrogenbomb.org”, “globalemployerindex.com”, “globalemployerindex.jobs” as well as the Trademarks and Logos of each of “Soggy Jobs”, “Global Computer Industry Index” and “Global Employer Index”.

I give, devise and bequeath to Roderic Schmidt the Title and Ownership of the Internet Domain Name “freecreditreport.org.in”, and the Copyrights to each File or Document, Text, Binary or Portable Document Format as found at the World Wide Web Site “http://freecreditreport.org.in” as well as to each File or Document, Text, or Portable Document Format File as found on the Internet Hypertext Transport Protocol Server at Internet Protocol Version 4 Address “93.174.104.65” as well as Internet Protocol Version 6 Address fe80::216:3eff:feff:fe37” at or logically below the filesystem directory “/var/m/freecreditreport/”.

I give, devise and bequest to Stefan Pietrzcak Youngs the Copyrights to each File or Document, including but not limited to Text, Digital Image, Hypertext Markup Language (HTML), as found at or logically below the World Wide Web Uniform Research Indicator "http://www.warplife.com/mdc/essays/history" as well as to each File or Document, Text, or Portable Document as found on the Internet Hypertext Transport Protocol Server at Internet Protocol Version 4 Address “93.174.104.65” as well as Internet Protocol Version 6 Address fe80::216:3eff:feff:fe37” at or logically below the filesystem directory “/var/m/freecreditreport/”.

I give, devise and Bequeath to SOYLENTNEWS PBC, a Delaware Public Benefit Corporation, the Copyrights to each file, including but not limited to Text, Digital or Silver Halide Firm or Paper Image, Word Processor, Spreadsheet that any one or more of:

... have marked with my Personal Copyright Notices or the Copyright Notices of any of my Sole Proprietorships, Partnerships or Corporations whether Non-Profit or For-Profit, either of:

Loosely speaking, Soylent News gets all my Open Source and Free Software Source Code, and Binaries whether Executable or Digital Image, as well as all that "Tar Ball Backups" whether Off-Site or On-Site, my several Source Code "Trees" or Project-Specific Subdirectory Heirarchies as well as my Source Code Configuraion Management Repository Tar Ball Backups. For reasons I explained elsewhere, my preferences is for Manual, Date-Stamped Tarballs with Multiply-Redundant On- and Off-Site Backups rather for Revision Management.

I give, devise and bequeath to Linsey Georgina Hatcher my Baldwin Howard Upright Piano, the Copyrights to the Scores to each of “Recursion” and “Emergence”, the Digital and Analog Audio Recordings including but not limited to the Original Studio Master Tapes for “Emergence”, “Recursion”, “Sahara” and “As Yet Untitled”, their collective “Geometric Visions, The Rought Draft: Compositions For The Piano”, and Geometric Visions Compact Disc Case Insert Text, Images, Logos, Trademarks and Graphics.

I give, devise and bequeath to Ted J. Arabian my Studiologic 1100 Master Keyboard By Fatar, my M-Audio ProKeys 88sx Lightweight Stage Piano, my ProKeys 88sx’ Gig Skinz Gig Bag, my two steel four-legged Piano Keyboard Stands, my two Black Steel Written Music Stands, my Roland Cube Street Busler’s Amplifier, my two Electric Keyboard Sustain Pedals, my 1/4 Inch Phone Plug Audio Patch Cords and the 110 Volts AC Power Adapters for each of my ProKeys 886, StudioLogic 1100, Cube Street, all of my UltraLast 1.5 Volt DC Lithium Rechargeable Batteries and my Audio Compact Disc – CD-DA or Music CD – Collection.

Ted, may I suggest you start an Internet Radio Station?

I give, devise and bequeath to the Collaborative Media Foundation the Copyrights to my Technical, Expository, Fictional, Psychological, Psychiatriatric Essays, Articles, Books, Novels, Rants and Manifestos other than those which I specifically give, devise, bequeath or assign to some other Natural Person, Corporation, Public Benefit Corporation, Non-Profit Organization whether a Corporation, Limited Liability Company, Partnership or otherwise, Limited Liability Corporation or Partnership named herein.

I give, devise and bequeath to Thomas Van Ness Leavitt my historically-unprecedentedly extensive collection of Men’s Magazines including but not limited to Cheri, Club, Club International, Gallery Hustler, Penthouse, Playboy, and Portland Exotic as wel as my rather more modest collective of Digital Versatile Disc Video (DVD-Video) and Blu-ray Disc Video Adult Motion Pictures.

Upon my death, I direct that my remains be refrigerated but not frozen then expeditiously transported to Ralph Reynaud, 3138 Wai'alae Ave, Suite 531 Kaimuki, Hawaii 96816 in the United States Of America.

Ralph is a fellow member of the Fairfield California Armijo High School Class of '82. Now a close friend to me as well as a mentor, he and I had in common our cherished but sadly departed Friend, Military Veteran, Humanitarian and "Hair Band" Heavy Metal Drummer Victor "Vic" Agnello. Ralph went on to study Medicine but for reasons of which I am as yet unaware, did not actually obtain his Medical Doctor License. While arguably "Honorable" Doctor Reynaud is eminently qualified to Practice Medicine including the Prescription of Medication, for strictly Legal, Regulatory and Liability Reasons he is not permitted to actually do so. Ralph "Bruddah Keahi" Reynaud thus teaches Psychiatry at a Hawaiian Language School rather than in an Inpatient our Outpatient Setting such Mentally Ill Folk as myself.

Ralph: Medical Degrees are for Poseurs. Doctorates Of Philosophy are where its at! Do Yer Worst.

IN WITNESS WHEREOF, I hereby subscribe my name to this Last Will & Testament, as of the date set forth below, at the address set forth below, in front of the attesting witness who also subscribe their names to this Last Will & Testament below as of the same date, at my request, and in my company.

Michael David Crawford


_________________________________________________________________
[ADDRESS WHERE SIGNED]


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SIGNATURE                           DATE
 

WITNESSES ATTESTATION:

As of the date of Michael David Crawford’s signature above, Michael David Crawford declared to us, the undersigned witnesses, that the foregoing Last Will & Testament, consisting of [NUMBER] pages, including this page, expresses Michael David Crawford’s true and sincerest wishes and will. Michael David Crawford signed this Last Will & Testament in our presence, and then we signed this Last Will & Testament in Michael David Crawford’s presence and in the presence of each other at the address shown immediately above Michael David Crawford’s signature.

[WITNESS 1 NAME] of [ADDRESS]


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SIGNATURE                           DATE

[WITNESS 2 NAME] of [ADDRESS]


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SIGNATURE                           DATE

[WITNESS 3 NAME] of [ADDRESS]


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SIGNATURE                           DATE
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